We’ve all heard the phrase “Is the glass half empty or half full”. Those who see it half full are called optimist; those who see it half empty pessimist; and those who drink the damm glass are seen as opportunist or about to join a cult because it usually involves some coolaid. But we have the main two types of people: Optimistic folks and the pessimistic folks. And for the purpose of this blog today is where I focus will lie. I mean I could educate you all on reasons why you shouldn’t drink the coolaid but that won’t help you be a better assistant I don’t think. We also could have a lengthy discussion on why Neo took those pills that Morphus gave him in the Matrix and which one of those FBI agents was the believe and the skeptic, but that’s another blog for another time.
So we know a lot of both types of people. The eternal optimist: almost smiling and saying “look on the bright side and giving you options and books about how to get over your break up from you common law married boyfriend. The pessimist will just tell you to chuck it all. Favorite line is well it doesn’t matter anything, the eeyroes of life. Take a moment to think about it, you could name about 5 people who fit both. And I am pretty sure the right now you are counting your optimistic friends and your pessimistic friends in your head. And smiling and groaning at the same time. Because both types of people can be exhausting if you allow them to be. Hell I know I am always trying to find the silver lining or groaning on cause I can’t change anything or make someone change to fit the mold I need them to be in at the time, which really isn’t their issue its mine, but again that’s another segment.
My thought for today is about the optimist that reverts to being pessimistic. When faith is lost and you can’t find the bright side of things, what do we call that person? Is there even a name for it. Let’s Google it…. give me a few moments while I actually go Google this. Well so far all I can find is that a optimistic person can never lose faith because they aren’t in the same class of idea. Now I should admit that most of the sites that I found that idea on had either Jesus in the title or were some crazy bible thumping subset claiming to be the word of god. But for the person of this little diatribe we are gonna stick to my thought that someone who is extremely optimistic all the time can lose their way and slip into that half empty mindset.
My broken leg is a PERFECT example: For those of you new to this crazy blog, On September 6 of 2013 I fainted and broke my leg. I have had surgery to repair it and I am now convalescing until it heals. Have I slipped into the half empty sort of feel, you betcha. Some days I just say this fucking sucks to my mom (well I TRY not to use the f-bomb but some days its hard) Nothing kills your vibe than being stuck living a bedridden life with ice constantly on your swollen leg that is full of foreign stuff it doesn’t like and being told to just sit there for 12 weeks. And it SUCKS ASS. There are all kinds of things I wish I could do and can’t. No going to the movies when I feel like it, grocery shopping sucks. I can’t even go TO WORK to make money. I have to rely on my parents for pretty much everything. Sure has it gotten better since the initial break, but there were times I thought that I was gonna just waste away because I can’t walk.
But what I have tried NOT to do is get sucked and STAY There. You know that half-glass way of thinking because even though there are SOME pluses about it; the people bring you shit all the time and ask you if you need anything (now that has gotten old but at first it was pretty cool). What seems to help the not getting stuck there and the reliance has been thinking about all the things that I am STILL able to do, like breathe. I mean the way I broke my leg I could be dead. Fainting is no laughing matter. And I also will be able to walk again in the foreseeable future. Not tomorrow or next week but soon. But this is my ability to self regulate my doldrums. I’ve had enough pity parties and may have dragged a few folks into them but I came out on the other side.
I try to pride myself in being optimistic even when others around me are NOT and can’t seem to grasp the idea for a second that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And what is the very WORST to me are people who just live a half-empty life where. I couldn’t imagine walking around like that. Constantly complaining and making things everyone elses fault. Like I said before I get when certain situations can make you that way, but to live your life like that daily, must be very exhausting. I have a former friend who is like that. Everything is the end of the world. And even though REM sang about the end of the world, they also said they were fine. And I would like to think that if the end of the world came that I would wanna hear that REM song one last time and be fine right along with them. I mean who really wants to spend the end of the world feeling half empty? I certainly would not.
So how does any of this tie into being someone’s awesome and super duper assistant? Well… here is a few points you can take away from this ramble (sorry its my pain meds).
1. As an assistant you ALWAYS ALWAYS have to have a half-full attitude. Even when you have cramps, broke up with your boyfriend; or even break your leg. Because you are the stability ball in this training session. You gotta hold up and provide support for that charge, even when they don’t wanna hear it which is gonna be always.
2. Do not feed into that half empty attitude that your charge is trying to throw at you. They see that they are paying you (some not all ) to feel what they feel, but you can’t do that especially when that feeling and thinking is being counter productive. I mean a cranky boss is one thing, but when the assistant gets cranky ain’t shit getting done. Believe me I know. Davis and I fought for 2 weeks after my surgery. Mostly because I was so hopped on pain meds and in pain and was taking EVERYTHING to heart that I couldn’t see straight and he was stressed and it was just to much. No one had any optimism in them at this point so it make the working relationship suck.
3. When they come to you with a half empty attitude you reaction is key. It’s probably not the best time to joke (I am bad at this cause I make EVERYTHING a joke). You can’t be too no it all (okay I will admit I am working on this one too), and you have to use supportive jargon. Sometimes it won’t matter what you say because they won’t be ready to receive it, but at least you put it out there. You can’t always solve the problem for them, but you can at least put feelers out there that make them feel loved and supported.
4. People who need this type of assisting are generally optimistic go getter types. SO they will always see the world half full until everything they have going on falls apart. So don’t be like me the week before shark week, take a cool calm even tone with them and try to figure out what is really bothering them. My big thing is to take control of the things that you have control over. Find solutions in the strangest of places. Ask for help so you are able to wear your sling. Do the things that you can control. Because a wise person told me that very same thing. You can’t control every variable, so worry about the ones you can
5. Say your piece and say good night. Today Boss brother didn’t have such a great day. He came with a list of things that sucked. I could see that his glass wasn’t even half empty, it was completely empty and ready to be put in the sink. I didn’t let him rock or rattle me. I was honest with him and left it at that. And boy did he try to rope me in, but I am learning. Let him wallow. I would hope he would do the same thing for me..oh wait he wouldn’t he would tell me like Cher told Nick Cage in Moonstuck to “SNAP OUT OF IT” The truth may sting a bit (Davis likes to say to me well so,… as in like so fucking what it doesn’t matter move on cause that doesn’t have anything to do with you type a deal) and as much as it annoys me he is right. Now if would could JUST get him to take his own advice…
If the past 2 almost months of sitting on my ass and typing out to you peeps has taught me anything it has taught me this. We OWE it to ourselves to take life as it comes, to plan for some things, but to let others just happen as they will or won’t. We won’t always have everything we need, but when that happens I truly believe its god’s way of saying let me take control and I will make sure you have it, or if you don’t believe in that sort of thing, the cosmos is telling you to chill out, find your center and trust that things will be okay (big shout out to my sister for that piece of wise advice). Because something is at work here. There is a reason I need to wait, or this person needs to struggle, or heal. There is a larger plan at work and if you meet it with resistance its just gonna keep fuckin you in the ass with no lube.
This type of change in way of thinking is hard as the f-bomb, but I have spent that past year trying to change my way of thinking because the other way was holy hell exhausting and stressful. I still have my days, I mean for fuck sake my leg is broken, but what I do know that 3 years ago, I would given up. But each day I find something that keeps my glass from going to empty. And I can only hope that I can spread that cheer around for all the world to hear.
So if you have a particularly different cause where the boss man/lady in your life won’t listen to reason and wants to still his or her head in the sand. Drop some knowledge and wisdom on them and walk away and let it marinate. I am SURE they will come to their senses at some point. If not there isn’t much you can do and that means they have lost their boss mojo and then that means you are the boss 🙂
Related articles
- The Positive Power of Negative Thinking (psychologytoday.com) I saw this as I was typing. It might prove to be a interesting read.
- 7 Awesome Health Benefits of Positive Thinking (playstrongnation.com)
The Distant Assistant 